If the first 2 minutes of your movie is a 500-word scroll explaining backstory, you have some serious issues with storytelling that should be addressed before you ever pick up a camera again.
Your Awful Short Film
Notes from a festival pre-screener who is trying to help you. Honestly.
With great debt to and inspiration from screenwritingtips.tumblr.com
Explain to me how 40 minutes is considered a short film?
When your movie takes place in a dream, and there are no repercussions in the real world, nothing in your movie matters.
I understand people go through a period of intense apathy following a breakup. But this apathy does not make interesting viewing material! If I wanted to watch somebody sit on a couch, I’d put a mirror where the TV goes.
Don’t ever make me watch your trailer before your film starts to play on the screener DVD. Now I have even less desire to watch.
I see you used the music from Requiem for a Dream. Was using its plot not enough for you?
courtesy movietvguide
You can do ANYTHING in animation. Anything! So why do you follow the same model as all Pixar shorts? Show me something fresh!
Curse words have more impact when used sporadically. The first 20 seconds of your movie has 12 F-bombs. Yes, I counted, and yes, it is overkill.
Most of the awful shorts I watch have the same writer as director. Take a leap, and get someone else to direct your script. Or direct somebody else’s script. I guarantee you’ll make a better film for it.
If you had put the same amount of energy into your film as you did the closing credits, you’d have a masterpiece on your hands.
